Friday, October 24, 2014

Crap I Can Get My Kids To Eat If I Call It Halloween Food

I'm not gonna lie to you--my kids are not particularly picky eaters.  So long as the food is brown and probably fried, they'll eat it no problem.  They're good like that.  This is yet another reason why I LOVE Halloween, and you know, around here, Halloween lasts from mid September until the candy runs out (like, late September).

Anyhoo, back when the kids were more gullible younger, I started making special "Halloween" themed foods.  I was amazed by what I could get away with serving them.  There's no WAY they would have eaten anything even remotely healthy without threat of no TV, yet here they were asking for more!

Here are a few of the dishes that have made the cut so far:

Witch fingers--These are green beans lightly sautéed in a little olive oil and then sprinkled with kosher
salt.  I know it's so rude and I hate the green old-lady stereotype, being neither green nor old-ladyish myself.  But if it gets a vegetable or two down my sweet offsprings' gullets, I will deal.  For a bonus, if you toss some sesame seeds on it you can call them maggots.

Witch hair--(Seriously?  I really need to come up with better Halloween archetypes to name my food for)--VERY finely shredded purple cabbage (you'll totally have to get a cheap V-slicer for this one, just be sure not to slice off the tips of your fingers), again lightly sauteed in a little oil and salted to taste.  If you add a tinytinytiny bit of apple cider vinegar to it the color will be brighter.

Peas are obviously monster boogers.  So is edamame.  Honestly, the grosser the name, the more likely my creepy babies are to eat it.

Black lentils, or any lentils for that matter--eye of newt.  HA!  No witch in that food!  I usually serve this in the form of Wicked Chili.

These are just a few of our favorites.  When I'm being realistic I'll work a couple of these dishes into the kids' normal chicken-tender laden meal (except the chicken tenders are mummy scabs, of course).  So, in case you were wondering, here's tonight's menu:

Mummy Scabs
Scary pasta (Halloween themed pasta I picked up at the grocery--it's got bat and spider shapes.  I should really stock up on this stuff now)
with creamy pus (white cheese sauce of course--straight out of the Velveeta packet)
and monster boogers.
I'll probably add a side of witch hair just to make the plate colorful.
I'm totally grossing myself out just writing about this right now.

No comments:

Post a Comment