Friday, October 25, 2013

Discreet Witch's Most Creepy Ingredients

Double, double, toil and trouble;
Fire burn and caldron bubble.
Fillet of a fenny snake,
In the caldron boil and bake;
Eye of newt and tow of frog,
Wool of bat and tongue of dog, 
Adder's fork, and blind-worm's sting,
Lizard's leg and owlet's wing,
For a charm of powerful trouble,
Like a hell-broth boil and bubble...
--William Shakespeare, Macbeth, Act IV, Scene I

I really miss those days when my kids were thrilled by the magical change that came over our suppers around Halloween.  The shredded cabbage I would give them with dinner was now mermaid hair, green beans became troll fingers, and tomato sauce became Vampire's Delight (served on a bed of albino worms, of course.)  A big favorite around here is a dish we call Zombie Guts which is basically just Bratwurst and sauerkraut.

The Internet is lousy with Halloween recipes right now, so far be it for me to reinvent the wheel.  Instead, I thought I'd share some my favorite creepy ingredients for readers to do with what you will.  Honestly though, you are only limited by your (or your kids') imagination--once the Halloween decorations come out, evening meals around here become a contest to come up with the creepiest ingredient names.

Discreet Witch's Most Common Creepy Ingredients:

troll fingers--sauteed green beans
witch's hair--finely shredded red cabbage (if you put a tiny bit of vinegar in it before cooking, the purple gets really vibrant)
zombie brains--cauliflower
eyeballs--pearl onions, of course!
eye of newt--soaked chia seeds (I like to soak them in cranberry juice and use them in baking, but they make an excellent food to eat on a dare)
ectoplasm--shredded mozzarella
bat wings--blue corn potato chips (make excellent batwing and ectoplasm nachos!)
swamp snot--pesto (quite tasty served over that bed of worms)
scabs--dried cranberries for sweet, sun dried tomatoes for savory
mummy toenails--slivered almonds (yummy with scabs, zombie dandruff and graveyard dust on your morning oatmeal)
zombie dandruff--shredded coconut for sweet, parmesan cheese for savory
graveyard dust--ground cinnamon, cocoa, cumin--anything brown

Troll Fingers with Scabs and Toenails
1 Tablespoon olive oil
1 clove garlic, chopped
1/2 lb green beans
water to barely cover the bottom of the pan
1/2 cup sun dried tomatoes, sliced
1/2 cup slivered almonds
salt and pepper to taste

In a medium pan with a lid, saute the garlic in the olive oil about one minute.  Toss in green beans and water and cover until the water has mostly evaporated, about two minutes.  Add tomatoes, almonds, salt and pepper and toss over medium heat until slight caramelization happens on the beans.  Serve.
This is especially tasty when garnished with zombie dandruff and freshly ground pepper.

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